Traditionally, proposals are organized independently. The selection of the ring is typically made privately.
But recent studies suggest that more couples are selecting engagement rings together than ever before
Most couples pick engagement rings together to take the pressure off the groom and allow the bride to choose the ring she likes best. It also ensures that you purchase the right size, share responsibility, and pay a reasonable price.
This new trend may not be for everyone, with many still favoring the element of surprise.
This article examines both the pros and cons of buying an engagement ring together.
Let’s start with the reasons why couples look at engagement rings together.
The bride gets to pick the style she likes
Couples purchase engagement rings together to select a style, stone size, and color that the bride will feel confident displaying on her finger for the rest of her life.
It helps with the ring selection process.
Although the element of surprise is gone, buying an engagement ring together helps the bride pick a ring they would definitely wear.
There’s nothing worse than having to return a ring that the bride doesn’t like.
It can make the ring more affordable
Engagement rings cost around $5K on average today. Some couples buy engagement rings together to split the costs and make the purchase more affordable to both parties.
It takes the financial pressure off the groom. Although traditionally, it’s the groom’s responsibility to cover the cost, the price of a simple engagement ring may be totally out of their price range.
Buying together keeps gender roles balanced
The idea of buying an engagement ring independently and presenting it to the bride may be deemed misogynistic and a bit backward to some. Both the bride and the groom should be allowed a say before the purchase is made.
It fits the modern marriage model. As it should be, marriage is becoming increasingly focused on keeping gender roles balanced and fair.
You get to see if the ring fits
When you choose engagement rings together, you will choose a ring that fits. What use is an engagement ring that’s too big or too small, other than causing a bit of embarrassment?
Pros of shopping engagement rings together
On top of all the main reasons why couples purchase engagement rings together, there are plenty of other pros that entice brides and grooms to ring shop as a couple.
You can treat it like a date
Shopping engagement rings together can be a great, unique date to signify the beginning of your marriage together. Ring shopping will undoubtedly be a memorable occasion.
What’s more romantic than letting your partner take you out to buy a ring?
Maybe it doesn’t happen too often. It’s certainly more romantic than surprising her with a ring, anyway.
There’s no risk in the proposal
Purchasing the ring together may also justify buying a ring of a higher price range. Discussing the proposal beforehand takes the pressure off completely, allowing for solid decision-making when purchasing the ring.
Presumably, you’ve already discussed getting engaged beforehand, and you’re now seeking out a ring to cement the decision.
It takes the pressure off the proposer and saves them spending thousands of money on a ring.
It cuts out the awkward run-up to the proposal
Shopping for an engagement ring together ensures that the time running up to the marriage is free from awkwardness and uncertainty.
Men can become noticeably awkward prior to proposing. This may become apparent on the day of the intended proposal or even weeks beforehand.
This can be an annoying and confusing time for both parties and may cause unintended friction between parties.
The feeling that one may be hiding something from the other is often interpreted negatively.
The choice is a product of shared opinion
In discussing the ring choice together, you solidify your marriage sensibilities and start things as you mean to go on. Purchasing an engagement ring together symbolizes the sharing that marriage is intended to be all about.
Marriage is about making choices together.
It’s unlikely that both you and your partner’s tastes will be identical, especially when it comes to ring shopping.
It helps both parties prepare for what’s ahead
Looking for an engagement ring together helps both parties to prepare for the wedding mentally. This tender date makes the gravity of the future more tangible. The shared purchase officiates the engagement.
The element of surprise can be shocking. It can take a while to let the whole thing sink in.
Marriage isn’t something you do every day: it’s, more often than not, a lifetime commitment.
Cons of shopping engagement rings together
She may want tradition
The biggest problem with shopping for engagement rings together is that she may still want to experience the traditional surprise! Expressing a desire to get engaged before purchasing the ring may not be what your partner wants.
Regardless of all the benefits boasted by shopping for an engagement ring together, it may end up being an off-putting prospect for your partner, and could even cause tension in the relationship.
You don’t get a chance to prove yourself
By going engagement ring shopping with your partner, you do not get a chance to prove yourself independently capable of picking out a ring suitable for her.
One of the biggest appeals of buying a ring independently is that you can prove to your partner that you really know her tastes, inside and out.
It allows you to prove yourself as a component husband and life partner.
It may end up being more expensive
With your partner in tow, you may end up spending far more than you bargained for the engagement ring. The salesperson may play heavily on the fact that your partner is present and entice her towards the priciest rings.
Purchasing a ring together may not end up being as much of a shared experience as you hoped for.
Your partner may lean towards the most expensive of rings, and you foot the price.
It can take a while
With two opinions to satisfy, the whole ring purchasing process can take way longer than expected. This can be frustrating, particularly if you like to shop fast.
After you’ve visited all the leading ring specialists in your town or city, the shopping process could end up taking an entire day.
Your partner may be very picky, especially considering it is the ring they intend to wear for the rest of their lives.
They may want to try every style available in the shop – as well as the rings that are on offer at the other shops!
It can put pressure on your partner
With so much pressure on your partner, they may crumble under pressure and end up choosing a ring they don’t like. The symbolic importance of an engagement ring may cloud their judgment. Engagement rings are also expensive, and they may feel pressure when expecting the price of each.
Indecision will also likely reign stronger when purchasing together rather than independently.
No doubt, some people like the thought of their partner picking out their engagement ring for them, as they doubt they’d be able to make such a crucial decision themselves!
It may feel like a cop-out
Your partner may interpret you asking them to go engagement ring shopping with you as being lazy. They may not understand your reasoning for requesting such a thing to happen, no matter the pros.
Especially when it comes to wedding preparation, your partner deserves to know that you are committed to the task.
This may also apply to the purchase and presenting of the engagement ring.
If you feel like your partner may wrongly interpret this invitation, it would be best to do the engagement ring shopping alone.
The last thing you want to create is a sense of uninterest or non-commitment.
Conclusion
Modern couples do look for engagement rings together, and, if done right, it can be more romantic, magical, and memorable than traditional modes of engagement.
Shopping for engagement rings together is a good idea as it can ensure that the right style and size is purchased, that the responsibility is shared, and that the price range is kept reasonable.
But shopping together could mean visiting all the jewelry shops around you for days even.
Through Jewelers Connect, you can choose your engagement rings together right in your home.
You simply create your free shopper account, then create a request describing the kind of engagement ring you want in detail. You choose the type of diamond and its size, the ring style, type of metal, and the ring size.
If you have a ring in mind, you will publish your photo for the jeweler to recreate it. You can also recreate one of the available ring patterns.
After you have described your engagement ring thoroughly, publish your request. You will receive proposals from up to 5 trusted jewelers.
Select the jeweler with the right skill set and a price that fits your budget, and wait to receive the engagement ring of your dreams!