How Do I Choose An Engagement Ring Without Her Knowing?

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How Do I Choose An Engagement Ring Without Her Knowing?

By Ryan on Sep 02, 2021
How Do I Choose An Engagement Ring Without Her Knowing?

Engagement rings are traditionally bought in private by the groom. This responsibility is daunting, as the ring selected could be the wrong size, style, or cut.

To successfully choose an engagement ring without your fiance knowing, you need to figure out her ring size in secret.  You can figure out her ring size with a test ring, measuring one of her rings or finger while she’s sleeping.

You also need to gauge what style and cut she would like to wear. You can examine her current jewelry collection, ask her friends, check her Pinterest board, or bring up the topic in a non-direct way.

The price and the personalization of the ring also require consideration.

This article lists the best tips for choosing an engagement ring without her knowing.

Let’s get started.

Buy a test ring

Before spending money on an expensive engagement ring, gift your partner with a cheap test ring. This will provide an idea of what size to get the engagement ring in.

Size is the most important thing in engagement rings. If the size is wrong, your bride-to-be can’t wear it.

Examine her rings for a size reference

You could quickly examine the size of the rings your partner currently owns to get a sense of her ring size. You can measure the size by tracing it on a sheet of paper.

Or, you could take the ring to a jeweler to get the measurement. Carrying the ring to a jeweler is riskier, especially if it’s a ring that your partner wears often.

Measure her finger

You could measure your partner’s finger while she is sleeping. You can easily do this with a piece of string or with a ring size tape measurer. The latter can be purchased from a jeweler.

Keep her from knowing by measuring slyly.

Examine the jewelry that she already wears

Examine the kind of jewelry she owns and often wears to pick a ring style without asking her. Make a note of specific brands, as well as metal type and style. This can be anything from her necklaces to her belt.

You may identify a common detail of her accessories that you can look out for when shopping for an engagement ring.

This will help you decide what cut of diamond to get. From emerald to cushion cut, there’s an array of engagement ring shapes to choose from. Pick one that will fit in with the rest of her clothes and accessories.

Prove to her that you really know her by buying her a ring that matches her style.

Don’t be scared to ask her friends

Shop confidently for an engagement ring by asking her close friends what they think she would like. Your partner has likely confided engagement desires to her closest friends. So, take advantage of their knowledge.

If your partner hasn’t spoken on the matter with her friends, you can suggest that they casually bring it up in the future.

You can most likely trust her friends to keep the secret, as they too want what’s best for your partner. Alternatively, you could try a family member.

Reference her Pinterest

See if she’s left any hints on Pinterest.

If your partner is a Pinterest user, she has most likely created wedding boards or at least desirable jewelry boards. Investigate her other social media accounts, too.

This way, you can surprise her by getting exactly what she wants, without even asking her!

Talk about engagement rings in a non-direct way

Take full advantage whenever weddings or jewelry naturally come up in conversation. She may unintentionally hint at what she’d like her engagement ring to be like.

Whenever you pass a jewelry shop, give her time to browse the window display section.

Perhaps she’ll express interest in a certain ring style without being aware of your desire to propose.

Consider the practicality of the ring

You’ve got to choose an engagement ring that your partner can wear every day, regardless of her profession and hobbies. She will not want to take the ring off, so choose one that she can keep on at all times.

If your partner has a very hands-on job like nursing, look at rings that will endure daily wear without inconveniencing her job.

On the other hand, this should not be a concern if your partner has a less active job, for example, in an office.

Choose a diamond cut that reflects her personality

A pear-cut diamond is more off-beat and is ideal if your partner wants her engagement ring to stand out. It is a highly unusual shape, but one which holds much elegance too. A baguette-cut diamond has a similar quirky appeal.

Just as you should consider practicality and style, you should also consider her personality and what diamond cut reflects this best. Each diamond cut suggests a different thing.

For example,  a round cut diamond is as traditional as it gets and befitting if she likes vintage or classic styles or if you want to be as romantic as possible.

You should get a heart-cut diamond if your partner is very girly. It is the most difficult diamond shape to cut and looks impressive when executed correctly.

Purchase a marquise cut diamond if your partner likes to remain chic, as this style does not go out of fashion.

Set an engagement ring budget

When choosing a ring, set a budget and stick to it. Don’t buy the most expensive ring to woo her.

Buying an engagement ring without your partner’s opinion can result in you going way over budget. In an attempt to impress her, you can easily end up spending far more than you bargained for.

Search incognito for the right ring

Don’t search for engagement rings on your regular browser. Go incognito to prevent her from knowing.

Choosing an engagement ring will take over your life, and you will end up spending a lot of time searching online.

Don’t forget to go incognito every time you do, and save yourself from getting found out.

Purchase the engagement ring discreetly

When buying, do not use a shared or joint account. To be extra safe, do not use your standard bank account either. Make sure the purchase does not show up on any bank statement she is likely to read. You can also pay in cash.

Unless you plan on engaging immediately after buying the ring, be sure to keep the purchase as secret as possible. You can set up an entirely new bank account just for this purpose.

Engagement rings can be expensive, and the purchase would definitely stand out on your bank statement.


It is effortless to choose an engagement ring without your partner finding out. You need to know her ring size, style, and practicality of the ring in her daily life.

You can find out her ring size and style by communicating with her close friends, examining the jewelry she already owns or measuring her finger while she sleeps.

You should also remember to set a budget, search incognito, and reference her Pinterest for further inspiration.

If you are successful in all of the above, you will be able to choose the perfect engagement ring without ever mentioning it to your partner.

Once you have your fiance’s size and tastes, create a custom engagement ring on Jewelers Connect.

Jewelers Connect makes online engagement ring shopping more accessible and safer. The site takes all your ring requirements and places them in front of the best and trusted jewelers across the country.

You will get offers from up to 5 trusted jewelers, each of whom will offer their honest best price to make your ideal engagement ring a reality! Review the proposals and choose the skilled jeweler who suits your budget.